Doubtfull

from SPEAKS by Critic, The Cannibal

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lyrics

I’m losing track of time, maybe losing my mind.
Watch the world pass me by, chasing after dreams to keep themselves occupied.
For a little bit longer I’ll keep treading water, holding onto a hope that maybe I can still survive.
I’ve thrown myself into the flame, hoping that the scars will conceal my shame,
To mute the voices inside my head, I can never sleep in my bed.
I can’t calm your shaking hands when they’re grasping another man’s.
This pain that fills my chest, why am I nothing like the rest?
I don’t fit in but is my loneliness a sin?
I speak peace for humanity but I doubt myself and my sanity,
I must escape this duality, me versus me fatality.
Am I attractive to anyone, or a specimen for comparison?
She says yes, but she turns her head.
Maybe I’ll look beautiful dead.
I’m unfit to bare your name, my soul is soaked in sheer disdain.
I don’t know if I’m okay, my mind is slipping into a prison of eternal decay.
I don’t fit in but is my loneliness a sin?
I can’t swim.
Can’t you see that Loneliness is the shark?
There’s blood in the water and there’s blood on the altar.
Loneliness is in my heart.
Loneliness tears us apart.
Can't you see that Loneliness is the shark?
Does any of this even really matter, because if so then why am I always so unconfident with who I am?
Why do I work so hard to progress, when internally I feel like I can barely stand?
There’s nothing left for me to say and there’s nothing left for me to do.
My last and only true chance of redemption completely lies with you.
It lies with you.
Our fears and doubts are temporary
We need to speak more transparently
And bring to light the things that we are questioning because there’s nothing wrong with our disbelief.

credits

from SPEAKS, released February 18, 2017

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Critic, The Cannibal Medford, Oregon

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